Capacity

Lately I have been confronted by my limitations. This might seem quite proud in itself - how are you ever not aware of your limitations? Well perhaps it is pride that puffs you up enough that when you catch a glimpse of yourself you are shocked at just how deflated you really are.

Anyway, lately I have been confronted by my own limitations, but first some background. It is now approaching 2 years since I handed in my resignation, left my job and my home and flew off to South Africa (things have never been the same since). Before I left for South Africa I was not doing great, somewhat disillusioned, lacking drive to really do anything I was in serious need of some focus in life. Well, I certainly found it. It is amazing how much more we find ourselves able to do when given the right drive. When you find that thing that you know you can do, that you are good at doing, that you love doing and won't ever get bored of doing it can be ecstasy.

I found I was able to push myself for longer, live louder, bigger and stronger. Naturally this was not so narrow as to be limited to my work in South Africa. It spilled over into my social life, Prayer life, exercise , eating, breathing... Everything had more depth, life was just more full. My capacity was significantly bigger. I was far more busy in those 6 months than I had been in the previous 6 yet I had more time for people, more time to listen, more to invest.

This increase in capacity was much more than perhaps meets the eye. Finding that thing that you are good at ... Finding your thing is much more than discovering something about yourself. It is discovering what God has placed in you. And when you start living in line with Gods will using those gifts for his purposes it changes everything and that is good news.

It is good because that thing, that gift, no longer terminates on you, it is for a higher purpose, a deeper meaning, a fuller expression. That gift is for God, for his glory as an expression of part of who he is. It is good because the pressure is no longer on you. Let's take one example. How many men have found that they are naturally gifted in business? And how many of those men have felt that the success of their business is such a reflection of them, so dependent on them that they are willing to sacrifice so much to make it thrive ?... How many marriages has that destroyed, how many families has it torn apart? But when that gifting is recognised as being about God, rather than the man, how releasing is that? He no longer has to prove himself as the most successful business man out there, no longer has to compare himself to how everyone else is doing, no longer has to sell himself and his life and his families lives into his business because it is no longer his, but Gods.

I am not saying that recognising the gifts God has given you is permission to be lazy with them, on the contrary how much more would you want to nurture and train in a God-given skill. Neither am I saying that  God is simply a tool for getting a good work/rest balance, plenty of people do that without the help of God. What I am saying is that all your skills, and in fact every breath you take is a gift from God, not just a human function and the difference of those perspectives is like the difference between shadows and real forms.

So ... Why did I start with talking about limitations? Because the year since coming back from South Africa was one very long kick in the stomach. Because despite the fact that I had tasted and seen and lived life to the full for a time did not make me impervious to royally messing up. Being in line with God's will for your life is a matter of choice and just as being in line results in life to the full so being out of line results in chaos.

Now It is very important that you do not read what I am not writing here. I am not saying 'follow God and your life is going to be all rainbows and sunshine.' Some people would have you believe that and they are simply wrong - anyone with any amount of life experience can testify to that. Neither am I saying that if you don't follow God your life is going to be one long train wreck. - That is also perfectly possible with God.

What I am saying is that your outlook on life (irrelevant of whether your life is hard or easy)will radically change. Your talents, pleasures and laughter will have a greater capacity - because they are no longer limited by you. And your tears, aches and mourning will not be hopeless because your hope is no longer limited by you or those around you.

And yes, when you have been through a season of serious trial you still come out the other end feeling beat up and very aware of your limitations. But the good news is that whatever your limitations you can know a God who is limitless, with whom all things are possible. So I want to be honest, following God doesn't necessarily stop the storms of life and it doesn't remove the opportunities to make stupid choices. It does something far better. God can take your joys, talents and laughter and make them less hollow. And He can take your anxieties, limitations and helplessness and give you hope.

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