Innocence

There is a unique beauty in innocence. It is something to be treasured, marvelled at, enjoyed and protected. Fiercely.

The edges of the world seem less sharp and pointed, more accommodating and generally better when we are innocent. Why? Innocence is guiltlessness, it is having no red on your ledger, no debt owed, nothing to worry about. It is freedom. Freedom from caution, the caution that that is birthed from an expectation of attack, retribution, disappointment and pain. Innocence says that the default is good, not bad, that the outcome will be positive not negative. Innocence is the opposite of being jaded.

Innocence is often associated with naivety, negative connotations of unreality, blindness and foolishness... The waiting period before waking up to the cold harsh reality of life and the smell of ash. It is the cushion that makes you feel safe but doesn't actually break your fall or stop you from snapping your legs.

If this is what you think of innocence then you are not alone. You must have been jaded by life's kicks to the stomach. But there is yet hope. Truth is that you can change your view on the whole thing, if you choose to.

Now you might be pointing to your circumstances right now and saying 'There really is no way I can look at this mess and have any other view than my one right now - and yes I am jaded - for good reason! My Jadedness reminds me that this is what I should expect and that makes this circumstance less shocking and easier to deal with.'

Well, I have no idea what your circumstance is right now but I do know that I have been kicked in the stomach a few times and I have felt the same way about life. Hard exterior keeps me safe. But then I stumbled upon a little nugget of truth (well actually it came and found me out).

You lost your innocence? Welcome to the club, now chew on this: Your innocence can be restored.

You might think I am saying that because I don't know just how deep the pile of filth is that you lost your innocence in a long time ago, but that's not it. I am saying that because it is true, was for me and is for you - doesn't matter who you are.

His name is Jesus and he can be your innocence. Bit of a weird concept to the uninitiated so give me a second here... You, me and literally every other person out there has lost their innocence to a greater or lesser degree. All of us except for this one guy - Jesus. Now one of the most amazing things about innocence is that it holds on to hope, even in the face of the worst situations. That is what Jesus held onto - despite the fact that he knew all of us were a complete mess he held onto the hope that some would decide to choose freedom from all the entangled mess. So he gave up his innocence, took the punishment that he did not deserve, and absorbed all of the guilt of whoever would decide to make the trade.

Now here is a weird thing about guiltiness, once you have been condemned, jaded, broken - you get used to it. This is the reason that criminals so often keep re-offending - they have lost their innocence. Even though they might do their time and pay the sentence for their actions they still feel jaded even though in the eyes of the law they are now innocent. So they just keep on acting like they did before because the way they perceive themselves is not as clear cut or as quick to change as the legal system is. So they re-offend and go back to square one.

We are all exactly the same as this - we might not be breaking the laws of our country but we are all constantly breaking moral, spiritual laws that we generally agree are good. Do not steal. Do not lie. But we do!  That is why Jesus is SUCH good news because he can make you innocent again! But here is the danger - we do the same as the re-offending criminal. We get declared innocent but we don't feel that way. Well here is a lesson we Christians need to learn - tell  your feelings to line up with the truth.

The good news continues here as well. God doesn't just release us from prison and let us wander around aimlessly - he helps us. He is our crutch that lets us stand even with broken legs. If we ask him, he is faithful to restore to us what the locusts have eaten. We might not ever be what we were before but we can retrieve our innocence and we can be stronger than before we ever fell in the first place.

Even though I have done my time

And paid for my crime

Everything is not just fine

I can't get my feelings in line

Cant shake the guilt in this heart of mine

-  Oh pine my soul, pine!  -

For the ineffably divine

To make sense of this mess where there is no reason or rhyme

To his purity and innocence let my life bind

That freedom and release in him I might find

He is open, compassionate and kind

Powerful and pervading, able to renew my mind

Sets me free from the meritocracy grind

Oh my soul, let your worth by him be defined

Amazing grace! Now I can see, I am no longer blind!

Title font used: 'Euterpe'

Overgrown

A new week, a new project. A veggie patch. You might think that this is a pretty poor time of the year to be starting a veggie patch - just as we head into Autumn with Winter right around the corner but the inspiration and drive to do it is here now so it is happening hear and now. That and it gives us a good few months to be able to prepare fully for the Spring.

It is not the most amazingly lit patch but we will have to make do

It is easy to confuse a new project with a blank canvas, when it comes to gardening this is absolutely not the case. In fact, if you can at any point get to a blank canvas you have already done pretty well. I think Jesus understood this and it is possibly one of the reasons that he used the imagery of a gardener to describe God. The truth is that in our little patch, and in everyone's lives there are an abundance of weeds. Life sucking, fast spreading, tough to kill, deep rooted, weeds. If these are not dealt with you don't have a veggie patch. What  you have is at best a patch of problem-inducing dirt that is going to overgrow and starve anything useful that you try to plant.

Other than the single Rhubarb plant and the grape vine everything green had to go

Looking from this perspective it is very easy to understand that a piece of ground is completely incapable of ridding itself of weeds, where the weeds are they will continue to grow. Simple as that. Yet it is amazing how quick we are to draw the conclusion that we are able to de-weed our own lives. The ever growing self help section of Waterstones stands as testament to this. Offering up every kind of burying, ignoring and weed-hiding technique there is. Pouring into the false hope that we are able to tackle our own habitual sins, change the broken condition of our hearts and patch ourselves up so we can live the way we were meant to.

Our very wobbly makeshift work bench made the woodwork that much more exciting

The hope is false because we cannot change those things about ourselves. We can maybe change the way that the symptoms of our brokenness manifest in our lives or we can simply ignore the fact that we are overgrown with desires and behaviours that we cannot shake. But at the end of the day we are as helpless as a patch of dirt trying to de-weed itself.

We made stakes to support the panels for edging the patch

The only way that our little patch was ever going to be productive was if we got the tools out, got stuck in and worked hard at removing all the junk that was bedded in. So, being gardeners that wanted our patch of land as productive as it could be that is exactly what we did. Similarly the only way that any of us is going to grow in maturity and start bearing fruits is if we allow the divine gardener in to clear out the choking weeds of sin from our lives and sow the seeds of the gospel in us.

re-installing edging around the patch

Our first foray into this latest adventure was satisfyingly hard work, there was lots to dig up and some parts were more work than others (we found rather a large piece of metal nestled a good half meter down in the ground - it was one of the harder parts). We completely overhauled the ground and it took some time, all the while excitedly discussing plans the for the future. 'Go big or go home' my brother would say. I imagine God is equally as thrilled while he is working on our lives. He sees that his work in saving us is glorious and he gets excited about the culmination of his work in us which will be ... well glorious.

During our discussions there was also the recognition that while these first steps are big ones the journey of our veggie patch will be continuous work. De-weeding is going to have to be a day by day, intentional activity. There will also be some big milestones along the way such as the construction of the lean-to green house which is going to cost us, but it will be worth it. Again this must be the practice of all of us who wish to grow in Christ-likeness. We are to recognise, challenge and do our uttermost to give over these things to God and allow him to fix us.

Whether you are totally overgrown with sin or you are steadily waging the ongoing war with your weeds, my encouragement to you is this - let the Gardener till you, de-weed you, prune you and burn up in you all that is not from him. While we cannot kill sin by ourselves we can make the choice to allow God in, to release to him the most insidious of our problems and trust that as the good gardener he is shaping us for a mind bogglingly exciting, hopeful, glorious future.

We found a few gems while digging from the previous occupier of the patch

N.B  Once again the pictures that feature me were (unsurprisingly) not taken by me but the rest were. Thanks to Charlie and David.

Title font used: 'Bleeding Cowboys'

Hidcote

Hidcote is a house and gardens owned by the National Trust, and is apparently where the National Trust 'learned to garden' weather this is true I do not know but it does have stunning gardens. Fortunately my mother is a member of the National Trust and so when she went I tagged along for the ride. I distinctly remember visiting Hidcote about 2 years ago and frantically running around trying to take pictures of all the amazing flowers though at the time I did not own a camera of my own and so used my mums - this time of course my 550D came along for the trip. I was like a kid in a candy store ...