Innocence

There is a unique beauty in innocence. It is something to be treasured, marvelled at, enjoyed and protected. Fiercely.

The edges of the world seem less sharp and pointed, more accommodating and generally better when we are innocent. Why? Innocence is guiltlessness, it is having no red on your ledger, no debt owed, nothing to worry about. It is freedom. Freedom from caution, the caution that that is birthed from an expectation of attack, retribution, disappointment and pain. Innocence says that the default is good, not bad, that the outcome will be positive not negative. Innocence is the opposite of being jaded.

Innocence is often associated with naivety, negative connotations of unreality, blindness and foolishness... The waiting period before waking up to the cold harsh reality of life and the smell of ash. It is the cushion that makes you feel safe but doesn't actually break your fall or stop you from snapping your legs.

If this is what you think of innocence then you are not alone. You must have been jaded by life's kicks to the stomach. But there is yet hope. Truth is that you can change your view on the whole thing, if you choose to.

Now you might be pointing to your circumstances right now and saying 'There really is no way I can look at this mess and have any other view than my one right now - and yes I am jaded - for good reason! My Jadedness reminds me that this is what I should expect and that makes this circumstance less shocking and easier to deal with.'

Well, I have no idea what your circumstance is right now but I do know that I have been kicked in the stomach a few times and I have felt the same way about life. Hard exterior keeps me safe. But then I stumbled upon a little nugget of truth (well actually it came and found me out).

You lost your innocence? Welcome to the club, now chew on this: Your innocence can be restored.

You might think I am saying that because I don't know just how deep the pile of filth is that you lost your innocence in a long time ago, but that's not it. I am saying that because it is true, was for me and is for you - doesn't matter who you are.

His name is Jesus and he can be your innocence. Bit of a weird concept to the uninitiated so give me a second here... You, me and literally every other person out there has lost their innocence to a greater or lesser degree. All of us except for this one guy - Jesus. Now one of the most amazing things about innocence is that it holds on to hope, even in the face of the worst situations. That is what Jesus held onto - despite the fact that he knew all of us were a complete mess he held onto the hope that some would decide to choose freedom from all the entangled mess. So he gave up his innocence, took the punishment that he did not deserve, and absorbed all of the guilt of whoever would decide to make the trade.

Now here is a weird thing about guiltiness, once you have been condemned, jaded, broken - you get used to it. This is the reason that criminals so often keep re-offending - they have lost their innocence. Even though they might do their time and pay the sentence for their actions they still feel jaded even though in the eyes of the law they are now innocent. So they just keep on acting like they did before because the way they perceive themselves is not as clear cut or as quick to change as the legal system is. So they re-offend and go back to square one.

We are all exactly the same as this - we might not be breaking the laws of our country but we are all constantly breaking moral, spiritual laws that we generally agree are good. Do not steal. Do not lie. But we do!  That is why Jesus is SUCH good news because he can make you innocent again! But here is the danger - we do the same as the re-offending criminal. We get declared innocent but we don't feel that way. Well here is a lesson we Christians need to learn - tell  your feelings to line up with the truth.

The good news continues here as well. God doesn't just release us from prison and let us wander around aimlessly - he helps us. He is our crutch that lets us stand even with broken legs. If we ask him, he is faithful to restore to us what the locusts have eaten. We might not ever be what we were before but we can retrieve our innocence and we can be stronger than before we ever fell in the first place.

Even though I have done my time

And paid for my crime

Everything is not just fine

I can't get my feelings in line

Cant shake the guilt in this heart of mine

-  Oh pine my soul, pine!  -

For the ineffably divine

To make sense of this mess where there is no reason or rhyme

To his purity and innocence let my life bind

That freedom and release in him I might find

He is open, compassionate and kind

Powerful and pervading, able to renew my mind

Sets me free from the meritocracy grind

Oh my soul, let your worth by him be defined

Amazing grace! Now I can see, I am no longer blind!

Title font used: 'Euterpe'

Yoke

My head is down , remembering its place in the yoke

Compunction and terror, bahal

morally broke.

Is this a Joke?

How am I here again?!  Walking in the path of sinful men

Sitting in the seat of scoffers am I completely off my rocker?

How far can I fall, how deep does it go, have I no sense at all?

Am I just a sucker for a beating, do I still look for meaning in things that are fleeting?

Get up my soul. Stand firm. It's time to let the old man burn.

It was for freedom that Christ  set you free

 do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

Remember it now and remember it well

 you have been released, no matter how far you fell.

He is your strong tower, your tower of refuge. He is the rock on which you stand and he shelters you under his wing.

Follow the Sheppard to the hiding place, tucked  away from the storm in the crevice of the mountain's shadow sing.

Surrounded by storm, fire, smoke and dust

quite yourself and trust.

/Selah/

Hear the still small voice of your loving father.

He calls you by name, feels your pain and reminds you again...

"Oh child of mine, you are known to me, even if you flee to the other side of the sea

 there is nowhere you can go that I won't be.

You are mine, my own and I will never leave you alone.

Don't you know how much this cost? Don't belittle what I have lost

My only son, that's right that's what I've done, the price I paid so you could come

Now sit down at the table take off that yoke remember you are planted by the river like a mighty oak

By the streams of living water your soul will be quenched, tread deeper and deeper get thoroughly drenched.

This grace is limitless, the ocean bottomless forget the superfluous worries of this world and fix your eyes on the prize and let your gaze rise to the skies cause I am coming back to rescue my bride.

So forget those chains of sin and put on this band of love, you are only here for a time but you were made for heaven above."

Gatekeeper

 

Who are the gatekeepers, the guards at the door of your life?

Who are the stoic fortress wardens, armed with wisdom?

Who stands watch, remains vigilant through the night?

Who sees with perspective, the inside and the out?

Who are the key keepers that discern, to enter or not?

Recently my life has come under a certain amount of trial. I say 'my life' meaning more than simply my immediate experience, because while this trial had me at the centre it affected the majority of the people connected to me.

While trials in this life are both inevitable and uncomfortable they are also often moments of decisive clarity. They provide a unique perspective on ones view of themselves but also give an opportunity for us to see how our friends and acquaintances will respond.

Jaffa Gate - Jerusalem, Israel

To borrow a parable it is often not easy to tell whether we have built our house on the rock or on the sand until the rains come down and the floods come up. If your house is still standing by then end - you built it right.  It is the storms of life that are proving of our relationships.

If we take Job as an example (no I am not likening myself to Job) he experiences a trial the like of which most of us will never have to endure, unfortunately for him the people surrounding him were less than perfect in their response. Even his wife (one of his few remaining relatives) tells him to just give up and die! Hardly the kind of encouragement needed to persist through life's trials.

Abandoned Syrian Bunker - Golan Heights, Israel

Thankfully my story is very different! Over the past few days it has become blindingly obvious how well 'insulated' I am by a great number of people around me who care, pray for and support me, often in ways that I never even see. Many of them will in fact be the ones reading this and so to you I say thank you.

Among my friends and family there are a few who have the position in my life to speak louder and clearer to me than many others, their position in my life is decided by me. They may not even realise it but they have more influence over me than most other people. They are in many ways gatekeepers that have the power to discipline, correct, encourage and shape me in ways that most will simply never be able to.

Derelict Shack - Gloucester, England 

The truth is that we all have people like this in our lives, the question is whether they are good gatekeepers or not. Are they wise, discerning, kind? Do they have your best interests at heart? For most people when they are born it is at least initially their parents who fulfil this role - they protect, nurture and direct their children. Or at least they should. Because we are all human we have all experienced disappointment with our gatekeepers, times when we needed them to be looking out for us but they were absent. Or for some of us we found out the hard way that someone we had given the role of gatekeeper to was toxic. They did not have our best interests at heart and they did not just not protect us but attacked us.

What do we do when our gatekeepers fail us? - We fall onto God.

Jobs gatekeepers were pretty useless but he cried out to God and while the response he had was not what he had hoped for it was exactly what he needed. You may have been let down by your parents right from day one but God is the father in heaven who never fails to love you. Your friends and colleagues might be like sand around you but Christ is the rock on whom you can build your life. You may be in the midst of a storm but He can be the anchor.

You may be under siege from all sides but God can be your gatekeeper.

Title font used 'Code Bold'

Ruach

ר֫וּחַ

roo'-akh - Breath, wind, spirit.

 

It is free, more completely free than anything else. Illusive it cannot be seen. It is unpredictable, capricious. It can be gentle and consistent or a forceful torrent. It is exhilarating, uncontained, untamed. It goes where it pleases and dances to its own tune. It takes no heed of outside opinion, it is active and pervading. It sweeps up whatever is in its path. It is deep in the lungs, it is life, it is freedom. It is the great mover. It does not capitulate to demands and cannot be threatened, it is without fear. It knows no bounds and never ceases. It is playful and ecstatic. It cannot be measured and is not to be trifled with.

 

It is weightless and shapeless and whatever falls it its path is helpless to resistance.

It knows no inhibition chooses its own direction and pursues us with the deepest connection.

Its burden is light and it does not grow weary and in the fullness of time it gives sight to see clearly.

Ineffable, invisible, exhilarating; its absolutely incredible.

It does not stop nor does it tire, ever lifting, lifting us higher.

Effervescent and ever present it is the experience of the transcendent.

Unrelenting force and unbridled power yet to the righteous a refuge and a strong tower.

Smoke and fire, flame and dust through the wilderness it is the one to trust.

Beauty unleashed though always unseen, pure and faultless, perfectly clean.

 

 

Title font used: 'Sverige script'

Seasons Changing

Old things going,

New things coming,

Seasons changing.

Old life passing,

New life budding,

Seasons changing.

Old darkness fading,

New light dawning,

Seasons changing.

Old tears drying,

New laughter sounding,

Seasons changing.

Old habits dying,

New resolve growing,

Seasons changing.

Old pains soothing,

New smiles emerging,

Seasons changing.

Old wounds dissolving,

New healing starting,

Seasons changing.

Old bitterness melting,

New forgiveness bearing,

Seasons changing.

Old doubts resolving,

New faith maturing,

Seasons Changing.

Old sadness waning,

New joy rising,

Seasons changing.

Old despair lifting,

New hope stirring,

Seasons changing.

Old things going,

New things coming,

Seasons changing.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17

Title font used: 'Eternal Call'

Here I am send me

They look back in time

Sealed in a picture, held in a moment forever.

I remember their story, their pain

Knowing I will never see them again.

Impressions left and memories made.

Radical love to them displayed

But for a time so brief and fleeting

What can be changed in a single meeting?

With me not much I am just a Man

But encounter HIM because he can

Change it all in a single instant

Bring new life to a heart despondent

He goes with us wherever we go

Leading us against the flow

And ebb of this culture, this world

We can't stop until they've all been told

They have to hear it so who will go?

These perishing people have to know

Who will stand and shout it out

Spreading this hope all about

This world heading to anguish and torment

Whose hearts are hard, remaining dormant

They long for freedom and second birth

They need to know what they are worth

The price that was paid and the blood that was shed

The thorns that were slammed onto his head

The spear that pierced his aching side

While soldiers gambled to divide

His broken clothing bloodied and torn

And the onlookers jeer and scorn

He breathes his last his live is given

No not taken but freely given

The earth shakes the sky turns black

The sin of the world was on his back

The veil is torn and the dead rise up

He has drunk the abominable cup

He drank it all down to the lease

The centurion drops to his knees

Surely this was the son of God

Who descended from heaven and this earth trod

Why didn't he just set himself free?

Call a legion of angels with a single plea

This is the centre of a bigger picture

You need to look at the whole of scripture

This has always been the plan

To save the world through a single man

After Adam screwed it up

And was unable to take that cup

There was never any other way

It had to conclude on that day

The spotless man completely righteous

He is the only one able to clean us

But it isn't over just wait 3 days

And the son of God will return and raise

Death is beaten, swallowed up

Jesus is stronger than that cup

And then he gives his last command

One final single parting demand

You must tell others about my name

So their salvation they might claim

Do not let this price be paid in vein

Tell this world about my name

Wherever you go I'll be with you

That is the promise that I issue

And wherever you go you must tell

That I've made a way to escape from hell

When people meet you they should see me

And they should know that they can be free

Preach it with your mouth your life your thoughts

This life is not mine I have been bought

So get going now to the ends of the earth

Proclaiming the need for second birth

lift the veil from their eyes

Cause if you don't they will die

Never having known there was only one way

Leading to the father on that final day

What is my response to a task that is bigger than the sea?

Here I am LORD ... Please ... Send me.