Takeoff

We have now been in Rwanda for 10 days, or so my malaria pill count tells me; it certainly feels like it has been significantly longer. There is much to take in about the new environment and plenty to prepare for with 8 or so weeks of work ahead of us.

So and update in a week of pictures, we finished our orientation without a hitch and moved to our new base of operations as a team of 8. It was surprising how quickly friendships were built in just a week of orientation and parting ways with the other 4 teams was a mix of emotions.

Since then things have started to take off a bit, we have met the partners of Tearfund in country that we will be working with. We have spent this week so far being introduced to different projects that we will be helping out with, enabling us to come up with a strategy of how best to help in different areas.

So, in chronological order:

The day after we arrived at our residence we decided to get stuck into the community, 'Umuganda' was the perfect opportunity. On the last Saturday of every month there is community service everywhere in the country. Our local one was a 2 minute walk up the road. We did not come particularly well equipped for manual labour but we were willing and got involved. The practical work was relatively trivial, cleaning up the side of one dirt road but umuganda serves as a community building tool that goes far beyond cleaning up the streets. We were able to meet some of our neighbours and introduced ourselves. The rest of the time was spent allowing local matters to be discussed among community members (all in Kinyarwandan so we only picked up on pieces here and there that were translated for us).

On Sunday we went to a Christian Life Assembly church and got caught out in the rain on the way home.

We also met some of our new house mates:

On Monday we had our first meeting with our host partners, enabling us to get to know the team that we will be working along side, the day was also in meetings as a team ourselves to organise all of our own rotas and get all the administrative stuff out the way.

Tuesday we visited a farming co-operative in Kigali where we were able to probe enough to give us an idea of how we can help to improve their productivity and hopefully work towards lifting more people from poverty.

Wednesday we visited two catch up schools for children aged 10-20 who are yet to complete primary school. The genocide 20 years ago has left Rwanda with 85000 child led homes and thousands of orphans, many of whom grow up on the streets. These schools provide those children with an alternative path in life.

This morning we visited a church led self-help saving group who have used their collectively saved money to fight poverty together. The main avenue that this has taken is through forming an agricultural co-operative together, some 90% of Rwandans make their living through farming in one way or another. The saving group has also gathered all of the required materials to build a nursery that we will help to construct at some point during our stay.

In between all of that we have not really stopped laughing together. Our meal times frequently leave us in stitches as we laugh at ourselves with each other.  As you have probably gathered Rwanda is a very green country and I haven't been to a place yet where the horizon isn't littered with rolling hills.

I am enjoying my time so far and looking forward to really getting stuck in as we begin executing the plans from next Monday. 

God of the gaps

Last night a sizeable group of us went hunting for the Aurora Borealis, to be honest I was rather sceptical from the start. I was more than happy to venture out into the cold hills surrounding Gloucester though - the stars were out in force.

We never did see the northern lights in the end, seemingly the scientists that informed various news agencies were wrong or maybe it just wasn't Gods will for us on that particular night.

Now here we have a bit of a conundrum, God Vs Science, arch enemies from the dawn of reason endlessly pitted against one another in a fight to the death. Of course some (Nietzsche) see that the fight is over 'God is dead'. Nonetheless there are myriad believers who profess otherwise and rather would see science as the losing side, never able to agree on a theory for longer than a decade or two it is simply misinterpreted data that is further misinterpreted every so often.

Of course this debate is hashed out in numerous arenas but none so severely as the existence of creation. The big bang theory and Genesis 1-3 are the weapons in this battle, forged by the most rigorous of scholars.

So with these two opponents poised ready to beat the snot out of each other what does the bookie say? What are the odds? Who is going to win, and who will die?

Now here we need to take a bit of a step back because something a bit odd is about to happen and we need to understand why. The atheist scientist largely understands his concept of God from the people who profess to follow him, naturally. The majority of the time this is Christianity and what does the scientist see the Christian doing? Well, he sees the Christian walk out into a field in the middle of the night expecting to see the northern lights. Except in the face of the disappointment of not seeing the northern lights the Christian decides to comfort himself with the sentiment that God must have not wanted to him to see the Northern lights that night. Now of course the reasonable scientist knows that there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for the northern lights not being visible from that particular field that particular night. The Christian therefore must be decidedly ignorant to settle for 'God didn't want it'. This behaviour is repeated everywhere to almost any question ... How did the earth come to be? 'God made it' Why is the sky blue 'God likes blue' where did man come from? 'God made man'

The Scientist analysing the Christians behaviour comes to the perfectly reasonable explanation that the Christian is like him seeking truth except whenever he discovers a truth that is uncomfortable or cannot explain something he simply replaces that truth with God.

Thus the God of the gaps is born. There has to be a God because without him we wouldn't have an explanation for the existence of the world, a reason to live or any warm comforting thoughts to consol ourselves with.

The scientist then has a mission, close the gaps! Pursue knowledge, provide explanations and there are no longer any gaps for God to be in and he will die and then we can all be liberated to do as we please.

So we have God of the gaps in one corner of the arena and we have science in the other, after thousands of years, millions of papers, countless debates and a whole lot of media hype science lands the final blow and the God of the gaps dies! Finally!

Now depending on your perspective this point is either yet to come or has already happened but the fact that it will happen is doubtless.

At this point the scientist rejoices, finally he has killed the tyrannous God of the gaps and he can pursue pure truth. He approaches the Christian to shake his hand, a gentlemen victor. He finds the Christian rejoicing, he must be excited about his new found freedom without God. The Christian exclaims 'now I understand how God did it all it is even MORE amazing!'.

The scientist sits back, looks at all that he has learned and for the first time perceives the face of God in the complexity and detail and structure of creation and realises that the whole fight was in fact orchestrated by God in the first place in order to reveal himself. He is not the God of the gaps, he is truth that underlines every discovery ever made. And yes, that is comforting. 

Innocence

There is a unique beauty in innocence. It is something to be treasured, marvelled at, enjoyed and protected. Fiercely.

The edges of the world seem less sharp and pointed, more accommodating and generally better when we are innocent. Why? Innocence is guiltlessness, it is having no red on your ledger, no debt owed, nothing to worry about. It is freedom. Freedom from caution, the caution that that is birthed from an expectation of attack, retribution, disappointment and pain. Innocence says that the default is good, not bad, that the outcome will be positive not negative. Innocence is the opposite of being jaded.

Innocence is often associated with naivety, negative connotations of unreality, blindness and foolishness... The waiting period before waking up to the cold harsh reality of life and the smell of ash. It is the cushion that makes you feel safe but doesn't actually break your fall or stop you from snapping your legs.

If this is what you think of innocence then you are not alone. You must have been jaded by life's kicks to the stomach. But there is yet hope. Truth is that you can change your view on the whole thing, if you choose to.

Now you might be pointing to your circumstances right now and saying 'There really is no way I can look at this mess and have any other view than my one right now - and yes I am jaded - for good reason! My Jadedness reminds me that this is what I should expect and that makes this circumstance less shocking and easier to deal with.'

Well, I have no idea what your circumstance is right now but I do know that I have been kicked in the stomach a few times and I have felt the same way about life. Hard exterior keeps me safe. But then I stumbled upon a little nugget of truth (well actually it came and found me out).

You lost your innocence? Welcome to the club, now chew on this: Your innocence can be restored.

You might think I am saying that because I don't know just how deep the pile of filth is that you lost your innocence in a long time ago, but that's not it. I am saying that because it is true, was for me and is for you - doesn't matter who you are.

His name is Jesus and he can be your innocence. Bit of a weird concept to the uninitiated so give me a second here... You, me and literally every other person out there has lost their innocence to a greater or lesser degree. All of us except for this one guy - Jesus. Now one of the most amazing things about innocence is that it holds on to hope, even in the face of the worst situations. That is what Jesus held onto - despite the fact that he knew all of us were a complete mess he held onto the hope that some would decide to choose freedom from all the entangled mess. So he gave up his innocence, took the punishment that he did not deserve, and absorbed all of the guilt of whoever would decide to make the trade.

Now here is a weird thing about guiltiness, once you have been condemned, jaded, broken - you get used to it. This is the reason that criminals so often keep re-offending - they have lost their innocence. Even though they might do their time and pay the sentence for their actions they still feel jaded even though in the eyes of the law they are now innocent. So they just keep on acting like they did before because the way they perceive themselves is not as clear cut or as quick to change as the legal system is. So they re-offend and go back to square one.

We are all exactly the same as this - we might not be breaking the laws of our country but we are all constantly breaking moral, spiritual laws that we generally agree are good. Do not steal. Do not lie. But we do!  That is why Jesus is SUCH good news because he can make you innocent again! But here is the danger - we do the same as the re-offending criminal. We get declared innocent but we don't feel that way. Well here is a lesson we Christians need to learn - tell  your feelings to line up with the truth.

The good news continues here as well. God doesn't just release us from prison and let us wander around aimlessly - he helps us. He is our crutch that lets us stand even with broken legs. If we ask him, he is faithful to restore to us what the locusts have eaten. We might not ever be what we were before but we can retrieve our innocence and we can be stronger than before we ever fell in the first place.

Even though I have done my time

And paid for my crime

Everything is not just fine

I can't get my feelings in line

Cant shake the guilt in this heart of mine

-  Oh pine my soul, pine!  -

For the ineffably divine

To make sense of this mess where there is no reason or rhyme

To his purity and innocence let my life bind

That freedom and release in him I might find

He is open, compassionate and kind

Powerful and pervading, able to renew my mind

Sets me free from the meritocracy grind

Oh my soul, let your worth by him be defined

Amazing grace! Now I can see, I am no longer blind!

Title font used: 'Euterpe'

Overgrown

A new week, a new project. A veggie patch. You might think that this is a pretty poor time of the year to be starting a veggie patch - just as we head into Autumn with Winter right around the corner but the inspiration and drive to do it is here now so it is happening hear and now. That and it gives us a good few months to be able to prepare fully for the Spring.

It is not the most amazingly lit patch but we will have to make do

It is easy to confuse a new project with a blank canvas, when it comes to gardening this is absolutely not the case. In fact, if you can at any point get to a blank canvas you have already done pretty well. I think Jesus understood this and it is possibly one of the reasons that he used the imagery of a gardener to describe God. The truth is that in our little patch, and in everyone's lives there are an abundance of weeds. Life sucking, fast spreading, tough to kill, deep rooted, weeds. If these are not dealt with you don't have a veggie patch. What  you have is at best a patch of problem-inducing dirt that is going to overgrow and starve anything useful that you try to plant.

Other than the single Rhubarb plant and the grape vine everything green had to go

Looking from this perspective it is very easy to understand that a piece of ground is completely incapable of ridding itself of weeds, where the weeds are they will continue to grow. Simple as that. Yet it is amazing how quick we are to draw the conclusion that we are able to de-weed our own lives. The ever growing self help section of Waterstones stands as testament to this. Offering up every kind of burying, ignoring and weed-hiding technique there is. Pouring into the false hope that we are able to tackle our own habitual sins, change the broken condition of our hearts and patch ourselves up so we can live the way we were meant to.

Our very wobbly makeshift work bench made the woodwork that much more exciting

The hope is false because we cannot change those things about ourselves. We can maybe change the way that the symptoms of our brokenness manifest in our lives or we can simply ignore the fact that we are overgrown with desires and behaviours that we cannot shake. But at the end of the day we are as helpless as a patch of dirt trying to de-weed itself.

We made stakes to support the panels for edging the patch

The only way that our little patch was ever going to be productive was if we got the tools out, got stuck in and worked hard at removing all the junk that was bedded in. So, being gardeners that wanted our patch of land as productive as it could be that is exactly what we did. Similarly the only way that any of us is going to grow in maturity and start bearing fruits is if we allow the divine gardener in to clear out the choking weeds of sin from our lives and sow the seeds of the gospel in us.

re-installing edging around the patch

Our first foray into this latest adventure was satisfyingly hard work, there was lots to dig up and some parts were more work than others (we found rather a large piece of metal nestled a good half meter down in the ground - it was one of the harder parts). We completely overhauled the ground and it took some time, all the while excitedly discussing plans the for the future. 'Go big or go home' my brother would say. I imagine God is equally as thrilled while he is working on our lives. He sees that his work in saving us is glorious and he gets excited about the culmination of his work in us which will be ... well glorious.

During our discussions there was also the recognition that while these first steps are big ones the journey of our veggie patch will be continuous work. De-weeding is going to have to be a day by day, intentional activity. There will also be some big milestones along the way such as the construction of the lean-to green house which is going to cost us, but it will be worth it. Again this must be the practice of all of us who wish to grow in Christ-likeness. We are to recognise, challenge and do our uttermost to give over these things to God and allow him to fix us.

Whether you are totally overgrown with sin or you are steadily waging the ongoing war with your weeds, my encouragement to you is this - let the Gardener till you, de-weed you, prune you and burn up in you all that is not from him. While we cannot kill sin by ourselves we can make the choice to allow God in, to release to him the most insidious of our problems and trust that as the good gardener he is shaping us for a mind bogglingly exciting, hopeful, glorious future.

We found a few gems while digging from the previous occupier of the patch

N.B  Once again the pictures that feature me were (unsurprisingly) not taken by me but the rest were. Thanks to Charlie and David.

Title font used: 'Bleeding Cowboys'

Woodland

Walking under a canopy of green, taking deep refreshing breaths of the pre-autumnal forest air. Meandering along dirt roads, strewn with fallen pines, taking in the familiar smell of the forest that evokes childhood memories of Sunday afternoon walks.

Dappled sunlight breaks through the canopy, dances on spiders webs, casts a rainbow.

The ground littered with life; bugs, fungi, spiders - the longer I look the more I see. Passing patches of ferns the aroma shifts, the next course of the sensory feast is served.

The aged and weathered trees stand firm, gnarled roots stretch deep into the ground, the trunk clothed in lichen and branches draped in Ivy.

The noise of the world outside is dampened, absorbed in all the undergrowth, the serene call of birds is carried through the woodland and the soft scuffling of unseen animals emanates from the road side.

Blackberries on the verges are sparse enough to make it feel like an earned reward while snacking on them through the journey.

A yearning grows, the desire to remain. To rest in the lush, vast green of this sprawling world. The urge to sing, to smile and enjoy the creators handiwork, to revel in its beauty and celebrate its complexity.

After a thoroughly enjoyable perambulation we headed back home for a cuppa. Thanks to you my friends who organised the trip and drove us to the forest of Dean.

Title font used: 'PlAGuEdEaTH'

Seasons Changing

Old things going,

New things coming,

Seasons changing.

Old life passing,

New life budding,

Seasons changing.

Old darkness fading,

New light dawning,

Seasons changing.

Old tears drying,

New laughter sounding,

Seasons changing.

Old habits dying,

New resolve growing,

Seasons changing.

Old pains soothing,

New smiles emerging,

Seasons changing.

Old wounds dissolving,

New healing starting,

Seasons changing.

Old bitterness melting,

New forgiveness bearing,

Seasons changing.

Old doubts resolving,

New faith maturing,

Seasons Changing.

Old sadness waning,

New joy rising,

Seasons changing.

Old despair lifting,

New hope stirring,

Seasons changing.

Old things going,

New things coming,

Seasons changing.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17

Title font used: 'Eternal Call'

Cold Cold

Define: Cold

/kōld/

Adjective

Of a relatively low temperature when compared to the human body

Adverb

Completely; totally

There is much to be said for the cold. I think that the first thing that comes to mind when I think of coldness is 

beauty. Stunning snow capped mountain range vistas, delicately formed snow flakes and white gilded leaves.

Winter is an amazing season, I have fond childhood memories of going for walks all wrapped up like the

michelin man. The crunch of frozen ground under foot. That feeling of crisp cool air against your cheeks and

the satisfaction that I still get of being able to see your own steamy breath reminding you that you are still

warm on the inside.

However there is another very prominent association with the cold. Death. Those white gilded leaves are not

on trees, they are on the floor. The reason I am able to enjoy walks in the cold is because I know that it will

be followed by a warm house and probably tea. If that was not the case then a definite sense of fear would

accompany the cold bite of Winter knowing that before long the cold begins to hurt and if left untreated is

irreversible.

Cold has also long been aptly used to describe our spirituality and emotions. There are many parallels; the

brittle nature of things that are cold, numbness or lifelessness, close associations with darkness and of course

pain. 

The difference in the parallel is that we don't always know where home is. This kind of cold is internal, we

can't just run away from it because we are it. We start to dislike our reflection and muffle the sound of warm

words.

And before you know it you are cold cold. Absolutely, completely, totally cold. Dead. Like a leaf on the floor.

 If you are reading this and you are cold cold then know this, Winter is a season, that's good news. And just

like the seasons you are not in control, no matter how you strive they will last as long as they do.

Fortunately there is one who does control the seasons and he knows you. You might not know him yet but

he is inviting you into the warm to have a cup of tea with him. The choice is yours.

Title font used: 'Freezer'