Innocence

There is a unique beauty in innocence. It is something to be treasured, marvelled at, enjoyed and protected. Fiercely.

The edges of the world seem less sharp and pointed, more accommodating and generally better when we are innocent. Why? Innocence is guiltlessness, it is having no red on your ledger, no debt owed, nothing to worry about. It is freedom. Freedom from caution, the caution that that is birthed from an expectation of attack, retribution, disappointment and pain. Innocence says that the default is good, not bad, that the outcome will be positive not negative. Innocence is the opposite of being jaded.

Innocence is often associated with naivety, negative connotations of unreality, blindness and foolishness... The waiting period before waking up to the cold harsh reality of life and the smell of ash. It is the cushion that makes you feel safe but doesn't actually break your fall or stop you from snapping your legs.

If this is what you think of innocence then you are not alone. You must have been jaded by life's kicks to the stomach. But there is yet hope. Truth is that you can change your view on the whole thing, if you choose to.

Now you might be pointing to your circumstances right now and saying 'There really is no way I can look at this mess and have any other view than my one right now - and yes I am jaded - for good reason! My Jadedness reminds me that this is what I should expect and that makes this circumstance less shocking and easier to deal with.'

Well, I have no idea what your circumstance is right now but I do know that I have been kicked in the stomach a few times and I have felt the same way about life. Hard exterior keeps me safe. But then I stumbled upon a little nugget of truth (well actually it came and found me out).

You lost your innocence? Welcome to the club, now chew on this: Your innocence can be restored.

You might think I am saying that because I don't know just how deep the pile of filth is that you lost your innocence in a long time ago, but that's not it. I am saying that because it is true, was for me and is for you - doesn't matter who you are.

His name is Jesus and he can be your innocence. Bit of a weird concept to the uninitiated so give me a second here... You, me and literally every other person out there has lost their innocence to a greater or lesser degree. All of us except for this one guy - Jesus. Now one of the most amazing things about innocence is that it holds on to hope, even in the face of the worst situations. That is what Jesus held onto - despite the fact that he knew all of us were a complete mess he held onto the hope that some would decide to choose freedom from all the entangled mess. So he gave up his innocence, took the punishment that he did not deserve, and absorbed all of the guilt of whoever would decide to make the trade.

Now here is a weird thing about guiltiness, once you have been condemned, jaded, broken - you get used to it. This is the reason that criminals so often keep re-offending - they have lost their innocence. Even though they might do their time and pay the sentence for their actions they still feel jaded even though in the eyes of the law they are now innocent. So they just keep on acting like they did before because the way they perceive themselves is not as clear cut or as quick to change as the legal system is. So they re-offend and go back to square one.

We are all exactly the same as this - we might not be breaking the laws of our country but we are all constantly breaking moral, spiritual laws that we generally agree are good. Do not steal. Do not lie. But we do!  That is why Jesus is SUCH good news because he can make you innocent again! But here is the danger - we do the same as the re-offending criminal. We get declared innocent but we don't feel that way. Well here is a lesson we Christians need to learn - tell  your feelings to line up with the truth.

The good news continues here as well. God doesn't just release us from prison and let us wander around aimlessly - he helps us. He is our crutch that lets us stand even with broken legs. If we ask him, he is faithful to restore to us what the locusts have eaten. We might not ever be what we were before but we can retrieve our innocence and we can be stronger than before we ever fell in the first place.

Even though I have done my time

And paid for my crime

Everything is not just fine

I can't get my feelings in line

Cant shake the guilt in this heart of mine

-  Oh pine my soul, pine!  -

For the ineffably divine

To make sense of this mess where there is no reason or rhyme

To his purity and innocence let my life bind

That freedom and release in him I might find

He is open, compassionate and kind

Powerful and pervading, able to renew my mind

Sets me free from the meritocracy grind

Oh my soul, let your worth by him be defined

Amazing grace! Now I can see, I am no longer blind!

Title font used: 'Euterpe'

Woodland

Walking under a canopy of green, taking deep refreshing breaths of the pre-autumnal forest air. Meandering along dirt roads, strewn with fallen pines, taking in the familiar smell of the forest that evokes childhood memories of Sunday afternoon walks.

Dappled sunlight breaks through the canopy, dances on spiders webs, casts a rainbow.

The ground littered with life; bugs, fungi, spiders - the longer I look the more I see. Passing patches of ferns the aroma shifts, the next course of the sensory feast is served.

The aged and weathered trees stand firm, gnarled roots stretch deep into the ground, the trunk clothed in lichen and branches draped in Ivy.

The noise of the world outside is dampened, absorbed in all the undergrowth, the serene call of birds is carried through the woodland and the soft scuffling of unseen animals emanates from the road side.

Blackberries on the verges are sparse enough to make it feel like an earned reward while snacking on them through the journey.

A yearning grows, the desire to remain. To rest in the lush, vast green of this sprawling world. The urge to sing, to smile and enjoy the creators handiwork, to revel in its beauty and celebrate its complexity.

After a thoroughly enjoyable perambulation we headed back home for a cuppa. Thanks to you my friends who organised the trip and drove us to the forest of Dean.

Title font used: 'PlAGuEdEaTH'

Biltong

My time in South Africa gave me a taste for a number of different things but among the most treasured flavours lies biltong. South Africa is famed for its love of red meat (something that I get along with just fine) and it is therefore unsurprising that they have managed to produce some of the more creative ways of preparing it. At its invention biltong was purely a practical solution to the problem of storing meat for long periods of time without the ability to freeze it. What it has now become is something of an art form of infusing meat with the richest and most mouth watering flavours. 

For this reason when a friend at college asked me if I would be interested in constructing a 'biltong box' it didn't really require much deliberation. (Yes he is a South African)

While meat in the UK is still WAY more expensive than it is in SA it is still significantly cheaper to make your own biltong than it is to buy it from a south African food dealer - plus it is a lot more fun.

So before term started we decided to get the real work out of the way first and construct ourselves a biltong box and put it to use. As I type 2kgs of beef is gently marinating in the fridge patiently waiting to get strung up and dried out. 

Making biltong is actually very easy and taking inspiration from another friend who likes to blog about her recipes I though I would give you a little run down of how to produce this legendary snack ...

Constructing the box:

• a cardboard box
• some doweling
• some form of hook (we are using paperclips) 
• a fan
• a dry, well ventilated room
• some duct tape (endlessly useful)

The idea is to construct a small structure that allows you to hang pieces of meat that will be able to dangle freely without being contaminated with bugs, dust or any other less tasty substance.

We simply poked doweling through both sides of the cardboard box and taped up all the joins to make it more stable.

Cutting a hole that the fan will blow through to circulate air

Preparing the meat:

Beef is a pretty safe bet and you should probably stick to that, get as much or as little as you want but it is likely that whatever amount you buy you will later regret not getting more.

• Salt (really quite a lot but it depends on the amount of meat you have)
• Spices - this is where it gets fun because you can really do whatever you want, whatever you think will taste good as a marinade then you can use that. A fairly safe bet is to go for black pepper, whole coriander and chili powder but many will also add vinegar sugar and a whole host of other ingredients.

First cut your meat into ribbons, the size will probably depend to the size of your box but a decent steak thickness should be about right. Place the meat into a tray for marinating. Rub the salt evenly into the meat, now take your various spices and rub them in too.
If you do use black pepper it is best to get the actual seeds and crush them with a pestle and mortar rather than using a pepper mill as this will be too fine, the same goes for the whole coriander.

Put the tray into a fridge (cling film it unless you want your fridge to stink of meat) and leave it there for a day or two. Now take it out and hang it in your box and leave it to dry for between 5-10 days depending on how dry you want it.

You can also simply search for others biltong recipes to find one that takes your fancy more than this one - there are a whole host of them out there.



Title font used: 'Ultimate Midnight'

Seasons Changing

Old things going,

New things coming,

Seasons changing.

Old life passing,

New life budding,

Seasons changing.

Old darkness fading,

New light dawning,

Seasons changing.

Old tears drying,

New laughter sounding,

Seasons changing.

Old habits dying,

New resolve growing,

Seasons changing.

Old pains soothing,

New smiles emerging,

Seasons changing.

Old wounds dissolving,

New healing starting,

Seasons changing.

Old bitterness melting,

New forgiveness bearing,

Seasons changing.

Old doubts resolving,

New faith maturing,

Seasons Changing.

Old sadness waning,

New joy rising,

Seasons changing.

Old despair lifting,

New hope stirring,

Seasons changing.

Old things going,

New things coming,

Seasons changing.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17

Title font used: 'Eternal Call'

101

This is my 101'st blog post. It seems funny now looking back at the very first time that I posted here (though the web address was actually different then) the original purpose of the blog was to keep record of my photos and track my learning curve and to have an immortalised diary of my progress. looking at my first post now it is somewhat embarrassing in terms of how low the quality is. (I would not advise going and taking a look - it would be the biggest waste of your time ever) even if you do go back now and look you won't be able to see the original layout and design of the page which was on a par with the standard of pictures.

On this training base and particularly within the last week we have been given a large amount of reflection time where we can take stock of the days events and process them as the days are very full and we are dealing with pretty heavy stuff. These reflection times have been a joy for me, at first they were great for catching up on sleep but I now find it incredibly useful in decision making to stop and think for an elongated period of time. Looking back on my life as a whole and specifically on my walk with God I feel that this blog is somewhat of a condensed representation of that. It started out shoddy and stayed that way for some time but there is no questioning the continual improvement, step by step that might not be noticed between individual posts but if you skip from first to last you would barely recognise them as being authored by the same person. This gives me great hope for the future - in the same way that there is always a certain level of dissatisfaction in every post that I make, the technique could be better - the editing could use a touch up or the wording could be more witty or engaging so I know that as I live I do not do so as an end product - I am a work in progress. If I were to stop growing today but lived to 80 then I would look back at my life and be bitterly disappointed that I wasted so much of it.

(yes this is a picture of a gecko the size of my fingernail licking its own eye!)

Fortunately I know that this will not be the case as my growth is not solely dependant on me (if it was then I would have to say I have no idea what will happen in the rest of my life) My friends and family will constantly be encouraging me to stretch myself to be all that I can be but more than this God is actively working in me and won't stop till he decides to bring me home - be that tomorrow or when I am old enough to forget my age. I know this because I know that God is jealous for his glory and my good and he is not satisfied with second best.

What does 'growing look like?' the bible describes the life of a christian like a tree that bears many different kinds of fruit - the fruit of a Christan being that which God supplies - Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Self Control, Faithfulness and Gentleness. If these are all words used to genuinely describe who I am when I die then I know I will have run well.

Title font used 'Crash Numbering Gothic'

Abstract

It's been too long - Hello internet! I recently bought myself a new lens, can you guess which one? Anyway these abstracts were taken with it because I had to christen the latest addition and there will be plenty more to come in the near future - though unlikely before Christmas.

As per - best/favourite 'til last... Merry Christmas and to quote tiny Tim 'God bless us, every one!'

Title font used 'Neogrey'

Practice makes perfect

though in all honesty it rarely is ever perfect and that's why the practice is in no short supply!

Having recently changed my setup once again in an attmept to get better waterdrop shots I finally stumbled upon (I have been looking for it for ages) out most illusive turkey baster - for the purposes of this project essentially a large capacity pipette. I took around 1500 pictures in this set and got loads of collision shots  but alot of them were pretty messy and visually alot of the non collision shots turned out to be much more appealing.

Eye

Have been trying this for quite a while - have only just got one that's any good but am still struggling to get as tight as I would like with my lens even with +4 dioptre, going to try combining them later... anyway:

Texture#2 - Skin

The most familiar texture to everyone who has ever lived in my estimation based on the fact that it covers us from head to toe 24/7/365 until we die and even then some, for a little while.
We assume it is smooth until we take another, closer look -  and see the detail and intricacy of the undulating folds, closer to ripples on the surface, like a million sand dunes all packed into a tiny little desert in the palm of your hand. On your finger tips a hundred miniature frozen waves breaking on the shore where skin meets nail.

Back hand - pores, hair, dimples, crinkles and veins.

It's beauty aside skin and specifically the portion wrapped around your fingers is exquisite. Entirely unique from person to person and distinct enough to be able to distinguish between even 'identical' twins.
I find it staggering the level of detail - of design that is observable and never more than an arms reach away.

'In the absence of proof, the thumb print alone is enough to convince me of Gods existence'
-Isaac Newton (I think?)

The challenge:
Take some time, sit back, closely examine your fingerprints and think.