Broken

I have been in Rwanda now for only two days though it feels like it has been weeks. There is much to take in as we undergo orientation for the first week to prepare us for the work ahead. Having been to Africa before it is a task for me not to simply presume that it will be the same here as elsewhere. Rwanda has a unique people, history, culture, language and nuance that no other country has. I am hoping to gain a fuller knowledge of what it means to be Rwandan in my time here. Not only that but Tearfund is a unique organisation, again having done work with other organisations that are similar it is important for me not to assume that it will be in any way similar to work here.

First impressions:

The instant I stepped off the plane the all too familiar  smell of a warm humid country hit me. It was a much needed welcome and put a big smile on my face straight away. As we waited for our baggage from an old and sorry looking conveyer belt I couldn't help myself letting slip ... 'TIA'. It wasn't long (by African standards) before we were on a delightfully cramped bus on the way to the guest house.

In the first few days we have settled in to the relatively comfortable accommodation (running water and consistent  electricity). I am also making friends with the Uk and Rwandan volunteers alike, it is such a privilege to get to meet people like this and serve together with a common goal. I also found a gecko in my room on the first night but I am holding out for seeing a Chameleon because apparently they are relatively common here and I've never seen one in the wild so that is one to hope for...

I have also managed to get a sim with some data on it enabling me to update you all! :) We have also done a tiny bit of language learning and other standard orientation type briefings around security, cultural sensitivity etc.

Today we had our somewhat ruthless baptism into Rwandan culture with a visit to a genocide memorial centre. The history of the atrocities is gruellingly detailed, with the assistance of artefacts, photos and video. It is certainly not an experience for the faint of heart as you pass through a room filled with pictures of victims. As harrowing as the experience might be of walking around such a place it barely scratches the surface of what it must have been to see around 1/7 of the population of your country massacred in just one year. There is just no escaping the fact that this has shaped every person in this country and everyone who is 20 or older lived through it themselves and would have been witness to the most heinous of crimes. The centre that we went to is the burial place of some 250000 genocide victims, under 1/4 of the total.

This is still a very broken country with the sheer number of people who are still struggling to process all that they have seen and that has happened to them. Leaving the memorial centre the question that I was left with was how?

How can anyone be turned to such extreme action against their own people?

How can a person who has seen such horrors ever find healing?

How can Rwanda recover?

How can I even begin to help?

These are questions that may or may not ever be answered but I believe they are still important to ask and mull over.

So while the work that I will be doing day to day may not directly relate to this, it is absolutely the background of every national that I will be working alongside and for and therefore must be taken into consideration in all that we do here.

Departure

The all too familiar mixed emotions of departing for the field are here... Going on an adventure with Jesus to the other side of the world, lots of new people to get to know and build friendships with. Important and fulfilling (and occasionally frustrating and even heart breaking) work to be done.

Yet at the same time it is leaving the security of familiar England, the comfort that comes from existing friendships and family and heading into the unknown. Having done all that needs to be done in order to prepare there is the less concrete objective of saying the goodbyes and preparing mentally and spiritually for the season ahead.

While I am in Rwanda they will be commemorating the 20th anniversary of the genocide for an entire week. It is a very broken nation and within my lifetime has seen more horror than any of us would want to imagine, let alone be witness to or be a part of. Doubtless over the weeks I will be struck with different impressions of how this has affected those left behind. Not just those who are older than 20 but also the next generation of Rwandans who have been born out of fire and hold the future in their hands.

At this juncture I stand thankful for all of the support and encouragement that has enabled me to be ready to go. I am thankful also for the lessons that are yet to come, as varied and difficult as they may well be, they will be unique gifts from God.

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is error, truth;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console;

To be understood as to understand;

To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

- St Francis of Assisi